How Did You Teach Yourself How To Smile...In A World Where Your Dreams Can't Be Real?

To begin...

I was that girl who constantly sat in that chair feeling sorry for myself because of the choices that I've made. 

Well actually, it wasn't the choices that I've made. It was the dreams that I had developed.

I felt sorry for myself because I had started to believe that I was living in a false reality.

For so many years...

Many people have asked me, "What do you plan to do with your degree?"

I respond with the same answer, "I'm gonna be an artist!"

I don't like the idea of me spiting out a whole line of titles or even explaining myself for that matter because I honestly don't see the point.

But, I am for certain that I do NOT want a boring 9 to 5 type of life. I want to create. It is important for me to know that I don't have to live that life either. I did NOT go to college because I wanted to get a job. I went because I simply enjoy the art of learning & the idea of education. I earned my degree in English because literature is my escape from reality. 

Soon, as I stated in previous posts, I will be starting my graduate program in New York City. The reasons why I chose New York was because every time I travel to New York, I find myself sinking into a certain sea of liberation. There is so much art, music, photography, poetry, & inspiration just walking the streets of that beautiful city. I told myself that I had to be a part of that...I had to be a part of that scene. I had to be a part of that reality because I saw too many working, I saw too many people doing, & I saw too many people living out their heart's dream with no type of concern or explanation. So that's why I'm going...I'm ready to move. I'm ready to work. I'm ready to create. I'm ready to become that artist that I've always wanted to be. 

So...nowadays

I'm teaching myself how to smile because I know its not gonna be easy. I know there will be struggles. I know that. But, this is what makes me happy & this is the life that I chose. So if I have to become that starving artist sleeping inside of a small box room because I chose the career of photography & journalism over becoming a doctor or lawyer...then I'll be okay with that. 

We are not taught to create our whole worlds & if we are...we are not taught to enjoy them. 

Moving forward....